Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
this hospital has no fireball
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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