if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
