Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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