So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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