so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
