we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize