I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
