I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
