Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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