i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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