I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize