my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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