I'm really into asian looking animals
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
