I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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