Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's shark week go big or go home
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
