I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
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I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
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I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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