Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize