i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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