This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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