I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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