I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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