none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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