so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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