I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
