Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
