Dual....:-)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
