Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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