I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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