You're my little dorito
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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