Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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