she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize