I wish I could teleport
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize