i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize