If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
