were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
