Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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