i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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