I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
