I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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