i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
