I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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