You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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