Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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