ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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