How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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