Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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