his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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