Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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