Whod you bang
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
