Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize