Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
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In America we eat man semen.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
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You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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