Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
