There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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