It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize