have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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