"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
