dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
As shirtless as possible
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
