There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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