Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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