i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
