He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
