i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
