Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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