sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
