3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize