Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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