the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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