you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
